Living Life: Back To Writing

Hello, I’m back! I’m really really sorry that I haven’t been updating much. The time needed to keep up with my studies, work and other life stuff (you know lah like rent and stuff) was far more overwhelming than I thought. But since my exams are done, I’ll be trying to pump out more blog posts in the upcoming weeks!

So as for plans for my holidays, I actually have quite a full schedule. Working a few shifts, starting some Dungeon and Dragons playthrough with friends, having friends coming to Melbourne to study and all sort of other stuff. So yeah, stay tuned to some blog posts about them!

P.S. to the people who continues to read my blog even though I didn’t update for 3 months. Thank you all. You know who you are.

 

~CYC

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In My Mind: Logan Review

Hey guys! I’m back with a new blog post! This time, I’ll be reviewing the recently released movie Logan! As always, all comments are my own opinions so feel free to disagree. Obviously, there will be spoilers ahead. So, if you haven’t seen it, please step away now because it really ruins it for you. And also, if you haven’t seen it, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? It’s seriously a great movie so go and watch it!

 

 

 

To start off, I’ve always been a huge fan of Wolverine. He is actually my favourite superhero. Tough. Mean looking. Not giving a damn about the laws. But deep down inside, he still loves the people he cares about although it may not seem that way on the outside. Wolverine always had a huge impact on my life. I think it was also partially due to Hugh Jackman’s acting. You see this matured, buff guy on the screen and see the way he portrays the character. It is just amazing. I cant remember the first time I actually seen or knew of Wolverine but I do know that he’s one badass superhero.

Moving on to the actual movie, the beginning of the movie was a classic Wolverine brawl with some thugs. Some stuff just don’t get old. But Wolverine’s face does. He looks intensely more physically worn out when compared to his previous appearances. Mind you, I have seen the trailers and knew what was sort of going on. And Wolverine’s aging was definitely one of them. His aging power has deteriorated due to the adamantium poisoning in his body. Wounds don’t recover as fast as they would.

He now works as a chauffeur and he meets a woman, Gabriella that desperately needs his help but he refuses as usual. He then meets Donald who asks him for a deal and Donald seems to know that Logan has meet Gabriella. And again, Logan refuses. He then meets up with Caliban and Professor X who seems to be unable to control his powers and can only be stopped by giving him some sort of drug via injection.

Logan decides to meet up with Gabriella to find out what the deal is. Turns out that she has a ‘daughter’ called Laura which is a mutant. Gabriella begs Logan to take her to a place near North Dakota and he agrees but would only come by the next morning. Next morning, he finds Gabriella dead and finds the money as reward and the phone Gabriella was using to get help from Logan. With that, he quickly goes back to Professor X and suddenly finds Laura at the trunk.

Laura appears seems aloof and silent when they met. She seems disinterested in the world around her, very much like old Wolverine. Logan instantly has a disgusting taste towards her and is not interested at her at all. Shortly after, Donald and his troops arrive. Logan tries to escape with Professor X but is cornered. Donald asks for Laura but Logan lies and tries to retaliate but fails.

The troops go in to retrieve Laura but this is where she shines. I particularly love this entrance from Dafne Keen, it was so badass and great. She murdered most of the troops and Logan left the place along with Professor X and Laura in his limo. Unfortunately, Caliban was held hostage and used by Donald to track Logan down.

So, the trio goes on a road trip to North Dakota. They stop by different places including a casino and a hotel where they get changed. Along the way, Logan finds out that Laura is actually his daughter and named X-23. They were new mutants made as weapons. The project was initiated by Professor Zander Rice. Also, they were being chased by Donald and crew. Professor X’s seizures acted up again and caused horrible consequences. It was also mentioned that the seizures was what killed most of the X-Men.

Later in the movie, the trio helped a family. The dinner scene was a great scene. It was a break from all the chaos that had happened in the movie. And it felt nice to see them have a proper dinner for once especially for Logan. He experienced so much agony and pain that I don’t think he has ever had a proper dinner meal with people.

Unfortunately, their pleasant times with the family was met with demise. Donald and his troops caught up and released X-24, an almost exact replica of Logan. Professor X mistaken him for the real Logan and remorses of the tragedy that happened long time ago; the one where he killed the X-Men members. He gets impaled by X-24. Logan arrives back into the house and told Professor X it wasn’t him. He dies in the process and Laura is captured by X-24. Logan gets filled with anger and proceeds to fight X-24. However, he is severely outclassed. Suddenly, the father of the family comes out and rams X-24 onto a tractor. Since the rest of the family is dead because of Logan, he tries to kill Logan with a shotgun but fails to do as he faints and dies. Caliban detonates a hand grenade in the van, proceeding to kill himself in hopes of giving Logan and Laura a chance to escape.

After the fight, Logan and Laura escapes and buries Professor X. Logan feels deeply regretful for not protecting him and angry at Laura because the place does not exist since it was adapted from the X-Men comic book. Logan feels super exhausted due to his deteriorating healing powers and falls asleep. Laura then takes over the car and drives to North Dakota. Logan wakes up to see that a bunch of small mutant kids with Laura and learns of their plan to cross the border. Laura asks Logan where is he going next and he adamantly tells her to leave him alone and will wander on his own.

As Logan falls asleep again, Rictor leaves a vial that gives mutants superhuman strength if taken at small doses. The vial depletes the mutant of their power if taken at high doses. Logan notices that helicopters are going to the forest that mutant children are heading to. He quickly heads towards there but is still exhausted from the fights earlier. He takes the whole vial and heads for the troops. The troops capture all of the children except Laura. Laura and Logan then work together to defeat the troops and confront Zander Rice and Donald. Logan immediately kills Zander Rice with a revolver and while the troops are distracted, Laura kills them and releases her friends. Donald then releases X-24, fully reformed with more strength. X-24 then fights Logan while the rest of the mutants kill Donald. In the end, Logan and the mutant children manage to subdue X-24 by collapsing a truck onto him. Logan tells them to run away. As he says that, X-24 comes out of the truck and impales Logan onto a wooden tree. Laura comes back and shoots X-24 in the head with the adamantium bullet Logan has been carrying with him all along.

As Logan inevitably dies, Laura and Logan starts talking about their relationship as father and daughter. Logan finally realizes how it feels to have a family and tells Laura to not be like him. The movies end with Laura burying Logan and the group of children walking into the forest.

Honestly, this whole movie made me feel intense all the time. You didn’t know whether they will be safe and it felt real because they could actually die, unlike in most superhero movies where most of the protagonists stay alive. It was also an emotional roller coaster. The movie itself had so much excellent small details that I couldn’t mention all of it unless you want to read a blog post worth 10 pages of words. Professor X and Logan’s small boat to the island, the family dinner scene, the bonding between Laura and Logan at the end especially when Laura says ‘Daddy..’, Laura changing the tombstone into an X to represent X-Men. Man that pulls the heartstrings. Also, the movie felt so much more different than other superhero movies because the action was the subplot. The storytelling and the emotions were the real stars. Honestly, the acting was so good that even though there were some plot holes in the movie (when Logan tells Laura to save the children, how does Donald see Logan but not Laura?), the acting completely outshines them. I’m honestly really sad that the Wolverine saga is finally over. I don’t get to see Hugh Jackman play him anymore. He’s truly a legend and will forever be the best Wolverine in my heart. Huge props to Patrick Stewart and Dafne Keen for their performance as well. All of the actors did the movie justice and put a great ending to the Wolverine saga.

Rating: 9.5/10. Would definitely watch it again. And goodbye Wolverine. You will be missed. </3

~CYC

Living Life: Mini Life Update

Hey guys! First and foremost, I haven’t been able to update my blogs as much as I want to. So sorry about that. To give a quick update, I’m in my 3rd week of the semester which is about a quarter way through. Nothing too overwhelming yet. Everything is still within control. Just got a part time job offer as well so everything has been going well so far. 🙂

Secondly, I realize 1 short story every week was really exhausting and I couldn’t come up with much ideas. So from now on, I only write short stories whenever I have the inspiration to write one.

Furthermore, I will only publish blog posts which are worthy(?) I guess. I don’t want to give a blog post which is half-done. I want to provide more quality blog posts.

Thanks to all my viewers for being patient and for checking up on my blog. You guys are the best! 😀 There will be more exciting adventures coming up! Peace.

~CYC

In My Mind: A Heartfelt Message To My Best Friend

When I first met you at a friend’s house, I thought you were silly, funny and a joker. A personality that I see a lot and am familiar with within my group of friends. We didn’t know each other well back then. And I thought we could probably at most just be friends. We didn’t talk much and hardly exchanged any words other than ‘Hi’ and ‘Bye’.

A month later, I flew to Melbourne to start off my journey in pharmacy. We still barely interacted with each other even though we were both in the same Whatsapp group. My memories are hazy but we probably exchanged a few insults/memes here and there but nothing worthy of the term ‘best friend’.

Fast forward to November, I came back to Brunei for my holidays. Very few of my close friends were back in Brunei. So naturally, I contacted you to hang out with a few other people. From there, we started to get to know each other more. I help celebrate your birthday with a couple of friends. We met each other at a friend’s potluck. And we had a bunch of fun drinking and talking about deep, personal lives.

I think to myself what was the turning point. How did we suddenly became so close and comfortable with each other. And now I remember. It was the day after an event I missed out on, you texted me to go play pool with you and I was relatively shocked. I was still sad about the fact that I wasn’t invited to the event. I agreed to go out anyway. I asked you: ‘Why did you personally call me out?’. You said you felt bad for me cause I wasn’t at the event.

That was the first time someone has actually done something really thoughtful for me even though we just barely knew each other. From that night onwards, we just became closer with each other. I would always overthink and tell you that I’m scared of the past and future. I would cry in front of you. But you told me not to worry about it. You told me that to go with the flow and don’t force anything.

And then I flew back to Melbourne again. We had skype calls together, personally and with other good friends. I would always find you for help and advice. I would always find you because you were someone that would actually listen to me and not always be there ‘just to reply’. You even told me that I was your ‘brother’ even though you never liked that kind of relationship between friends. I would always see you as an older sibling. Someone that I could count on. And that has always been what I thought of until recently.

I came back to Brunei in November again. I lied to you so that I could surprise you on your birthday. I asked 2 friends to help me with it. It felt nice to do it and see you happy. You’d pick me up for hangouts because I couldn’t drive at that time. You’d always do so much for me. Till the point, I felt like I was depending on you. I was envy; I was clingy; I was expecting too much. I felt bitter when I see you having fun with other friends without me. I would always expect you to be there for me when I couldn’t cope with my emotions.

You have your own priorities and I know that. You were always the type of person who would rarely get cues or hints. You were the type of person who thinks that most things are fine. But at some point, I thought clearly and ranted to you. I was disappointed. I was disappointed not at the fact that you hung out with other people, but it was the fact that you never gave me a chance to help you when you had a problem. Whenever you were suffering, you would find someone else to help you although I was there. I offered you car rides when I could drive and you declined. Yet, you accept a car ride from someone who was 10km away from you while I was only 3km away from your house. In the end, it felt like you didn’t trust me. And it seemed to me that you never cared as much as I thought.

In a way, I realize that these aren’t important because you did so much for me. But the emotions are real. They’re never fake. But I know it was all my undoing. I expected too much. It was never your fault to begin with.

I cried furiously about it. We almost broke our friendship. I was scared of losing someone important in my life again. I’ve had similar experiences before. And I promised myself to not let my emotions get the better of me. To not let another important person walk out my life. I almost did it again. I was fearful.

But you told me. You told me what was wrong with me. You told me what I should to myself. You told me that not everything will go my way. And I am forever thankful for that. Perhaps it made me realize that I should be independent. I should not rely on you.

In a way, I guess the series of events made our friendship stronger. Maybe it became more distant. Who knows? But one thing I know for sure is I shall become independent and be happy for myself. So that you would be happy knowing that I am happy.

Lastly, maybe you’re reading this, maybe you’re not. And I know you have heard of these sentences a lot. But I am sorry for what I have done. I appreciate having you in my life. Because, you are one of the greatest friend I have ever met. And that nothing will change how I think about you as a friend.

~CYC

Melodious Music: Slow Dancing In A Burning Room – John Mayer

It’s not a silly little moment
It’s not the storm before the calm
This is the deep and dyin’ breath of
This love we’ve been workin’ on

Can’t seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms
Nobody’s gonna come and save you
We pulled too many false alarms

We’re goin’ down
And you can see it too
We’re goin’ down
And you know that we’re doomed
My dear
We’re slow dancing in a burnin’ room

I was the one you always dreamed of
You were the one I tried to draw
How dare you say it’s nothing to me
Baby, you’re the only light I ever saw

I’ll make the most of all the sadness
You’ll be a bitch because you can
You try to hit me, just hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
‘Cause you can’t understand

We’re goin’ down
And you can see it too
We’re goin’ down
And you know that we’re doomed
My dear
We’re slow dancing in a burnin’ room

Go cry about it, why don’t you
Go cry about it, why don’t you
Go cry about it, why don’t you
My dear, we’re slow dancin’ in a burnin’ room
Burnin’ room, burnin’ room

Don’t you think we outta know by now?
Don’t you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don’t you think we outta know by now?
Don’t you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don’t you think we outta know by now?
Don’t you think we shoulda learned somehow?

This song is just a masterpiece on it’s own. The guitar riffs, John Mayer’s voice, the intuitive lyrics, the magnificent tune, just everything about it is perfect. Because it is that great, I will go through ALL of the lyrics. P.S.: All interpretation are my own so they might be wrong or correct. Before that though, I just want to give a special shoutout to Kevin for introducing me to this song because it really is a great song that I’ll never forget.

It’s not a silly little moment
It’s not the storm before the calm
This is the deep and dyin’ breath of
This love we’ve been workin’ on’

It’s not some stupid argument a couple is having. It’s not going to resolve like any other petty thing. It’s the start of the end. The end of something that both partners have been working on so hard to keep it alive.

Can’t seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms
Nobody’s gonna come and save you
We pulled too many false alarms

He wants to keep the relationship alive. He wants to keep hold of her. But he knows that it’s impossible. Nobody can save the relationship anymore. Not even the ones in it. And it’s all because of the little mistakes that accumulated.

We’re goin’ down
And you can see it too
We’re goin’ down
And you know that we’re doomed
My dear
We’re slow dancing in a burnin’ room

Ah, the chorus. It signifies that both partners know that the relationship is going down. That the relationship is going to end. ‘We’re slow dancing in a burning room’ They will still love each other till the end. A bittersweet feeling. They don’t want to let go. The memories. The love. The feelings. But they know it will keep going downhill if it continues.

I was the one you always dreamed of
You were the one I tried to draw
How dare you say it’s nothing to me
Baby, you’re the only light I ever saw

She accuses him of not pulling the weight in the relationship and not loving her enough although she said he was the only man she ever wanted. But to him, it was very clear that she was the only woman he ever wanted.

I’ll make the most of all the sadness
You’ll be a bitch because you can
You try to hit me, just hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
‘Cause you can’t understand

He has learnt his lessons from this relationship. From this toxic relationship. Because she doesn’t understand his sacrifices and whatnot. So she puts the blame on him and it leaves a dirty stain on the man’s ego even though what he did was right. And the song goes back to the chorus.

Go cry about it, why don’t you
Go cry about it, why don’t you
Go cry about it, why don’t you
My dear, we’re slow dancin’ in a burnin’ room
Burnin’ room, burnin’ room

Don’t you think we outta know by now?
Don’t you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don’t you think we outta know by now?
Don’t you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don’t you think we outta know by now?
Don’t you think we shoulda learned somehow?

He hopes that she regrets about what she has done. And how she wants the relationship to work. But apparently, she never did. And they never knew that this would lead to the end of a relationship. They never knew how to fix the relationship but he still loves her while her love for him faded. And yet, all he can do is stay with her till the end of the relationship. Because he is in denial. In denial of the end of something that was great to him.

As a conclusion, I’ll leave 2 videos. 1 is the studio version which is great and 1 is a live version which is in my opinion, the best rendition of the song.

Late Night Thoughts: Homesick

When you first go to another country to study, you feel excited and enthusiastic. You can’t wait for a new environment; you’re tired of seeing the same people and same places. You want to experience something new. You finally get independence. You’re all on your own. You can do whatever you want.

But then you realize, ‘Oh, I don’t really know anybody. How am I going to make friends? Well, I just have to try.’ Then you try your best to approach people but most of them have their own clique. And you wonder, ‘This is going to be hard.’

As days pass, you realize this is harder than you thought. Things don’t go as plan. You barely know how to cook. Appliances go haywire. Daily necessities become a chore. Trying to save up money. Dealing with studies. Everything just became much harder. You want somebody to talk to. But all your good friends and family are far away. Contacting them is hard. Even with video calls, you just feel it’s not enough. You just want to see them. You start to reminisce the times you were at a party, doing stupid stuff and having fun. All the memories that you made. All of these come crashing down in moments. You just want to get back home. You just want to go to that airline website and book a ticket. But you know you can’t. The hopelessness. And then you cry by yourself in the lonely night.

Day 30. You know that sobbing isn’t going to help. You realize that you have to be strong, for your family and friends. To let them know you’re doing well. To not let them know that you’re not doing fine. To not let them worry about you. Everything seems to be going much better. You’re starting to live a much better life, blending in well with the new culture and new friends. You still miss the memories and the old life. You never forget them but you know, you have to move on and create new memories. Because in the end, you can always come back home; home to where you belong.

~CYC

Living Life: Back In Melbourne

Alas, my 3 month holiday in Brunei has come to an end. I’m typing this blog post now in Melbourne.

As usual, this 3 months back in Brunei really made me feel like I was at home. With my family, with my other ‘family’ and with my very good friends. Honestly, when I was about to leave for the airport, I was really sad. I didn’t want to leave them. I didn’t want to leave my beautiful home. I didn’t want to leave my great and awesome families and friends. I didn’t want to leave behind the good times we’ve had. It’s only been a few hours and I already miss them. It feels like you’ve lost a part of yourself. A part of you that is so essential to your life. You see them and interact with them almost daily. It really does suck to not see them for a long time.

However, I want this to be an appreciation post of sorts, especially to the 4 people who has been with me ever since I’ve been back. Shoutout to Kevin, Ehsan, Audrey and Nick Chin. You guys really made this holiday back home one of the best. All the times that we’ve been out together, just talking and hanging out, really made it for me. Thank you for all the good times. Special thanks to Ehsan and Nick Chin for helping me surprise Kevin on his birthday! I look forward to meeting you all again and let’s have another potluck :>

Also, special shoutout to my other family members who were part of this holiday too! Ben, Wei Ying, Wen Jun, Li Ying, Leo, Desmond, Yih Ping, Edward, Nicholas Lee, Soo Jing, Chann Yen, Stephanie, Dann, Zhi Chu, Fish. I think that’s all heh. I hope I don’t miss anybody out HAHA. You guys made the holiday really special too. I definitely won’t forget all the memories and I would like to see you all again some time soon. Let’s have another big party! 😀

Lastly, here’s a photo of the 5 of us. 🙂

SONY DSC
Left to Right: Kevin, Me, Ehsan, Audrey, Nick Chin

~CYC