So I recently went to a friend’s hangout and they were talking about different types of friends; their uniqueness and whether you can trust them or not. And that sparked my own thoughts on the topic of friends and trust.
As I grew up, I always viewed friendships as being very valuable and precious to me. Whenever I meet someone with characteristics that I like such as being understanding, fun to hangout with (having common hobbies), not judging and kind, I can almost instantly ‘click’ with that friend. I think meeting someone who ‘clicks’ with you is not such a black and white answer. There are certainly variances between each friend that you ‘click’ with. However, for me, the one characteristic that determines whether I can be very close to that friend is trust. Trust to me is very important. It says so much about how I feel towards a person and whether I could be open with him/her.
In the past, I had many trust issues with different friends. Sometimes, I would question myself after: ‘Did I make the right choice? Should I have not told him *insert personal problems/secrets*?’ That runs through my mind most of the time. And often, I wouldn’t contact that friend as much as before afterwards.
I would say I judge people a lot but also look at their intentions. There’s a quote on my desk wall that says ‘We judge other people by their actions but we judge ourselves by our intentions.’ To me, that opened up my perspective to judging people. Although one’s action may seem awful to one person, but if you manage to put yourself into his or her position, it might not seem as awful. From there, I could determine the ‘level’ of trust I can put into a certain friend.
However, trust is such a fragile word. I feel like it has such a fine lining to what it actually means and I admit that sometimes I misuse it. What is trust exactly? What does it mean when I trust somebody? Does it mean I can tell all my secrets or problems to him/her? Or does it mean that I can rely on him when I need help? For me, trust means only one thing. That I am able to tell my deepest secrets and problems to them. That they are able to understanding and empathize with me. That I am just happy with their presence even though I’m crying, emotionally and mentally broken and tired of everything. That to me is trust.
You know who you are. The friend(s) that I fully trust. I really appreciate having them in my life and being a part of my journey through life. :’) Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Without them, I wouldn’t be here today.
It’s 3am right here now. Peace out and good night. 🙂